San Francisco Noobs

It’s customary to be asked for references when applying for a job. Makes sense. Your possible new employer wants to be sure you’re not some crazy serial killer or con artist who has come up with an elaborate plan to infiltrate their company. Well, today I received an email from my BFF Kate. You may have seen her past letter of recomendation for me. She pretty much has signed up to be head campaign leader for “Find Casi a Job.” It’s a real campaign, and YES I take donations. You know, for the cause and all.

Anyway, my whole point is, if I could add Kate as one of my references I would. The reason I don’t is I believe she may be a bit too vulgar. Therefor her letters of recommendation/encouragement go on my blog:

WARNING: The following is mostly comprised of facts. If you have any negative thoughts on any of the below statements; just consider it false information.

Actual email I received from Kate: 2:58pm Tuesday, February 2, 2010
[Subject] Things I want:
1. Casi
2. To be sitting on a couch drinking wine with Casi
3. To go shopping at Forever 21 with Casi while she steals fur vests
4. To snuggle with Casi in her Snuggie
5. To not have school like Casi
6. To be laying on the beach working on my tan with Casi
7. To be drunkinly eating a cheeseburger with Casi
8. Oooo, El Coyotes margaritas with Casi
9. To sit with Casi and invent more pet names for ourselves
10. To get a pedicure with Casi
11. To get a manicure with Casi
12. To not write Casi’s name when I am typing at work (this may or may not have happened like 30 seconds ago – allegedly)
13. TO GO POLE DANCING WITH CASI
14. A puppy which I can play with when I am with Casi
15. To be at Casi’s house in SF right now
16. To have an iphone like Casi
17. To play ispy games with Casi when she solves them and they are inappropriately funny
18. To make fun of bad hair days and falic sculptures with Casi after she solves ispy games
19. To live with Casi so my life would never be bleak and empty like now (OOOO, what if we did live together?!? Would we be the fighting roommates though? I hate most everyone I live with.)
20. To go to a gay bar with Casi
21. To go to a hula hoop class with Casi
22. To win the lottery so Casi and I can retire and play together every day
23. To make sure Casi knows this email is probably the creepiest email I have ever sent, and I meant every word
24. To make sure that Casi knows I am not interested in sexual relations with her – I’m here strictly on a snuggle basis
25. Also to make sure Casi knows if she ever talks about period shits with me, I might vomit
26. To go wine tasting with Casi (well, Darren and Greg can come along too because we need someone to drive and someone to pay)
27. To sit and pet Casi’s soft hair (bonus if it has been washed recently)
28. To learn how to be hardcore like Casi and drink beer
29. To learn how to be hardcore like Casi and speak geek
30. To wear sweats all day like Casi (this is purely an assumption, but I would assume you don’t put real clothes on, and if you do – WHY?)
31. To beat Casi’s boyfriend at a burping contest (which for the record I have not lost, I just get too drunk to remember said contest)
32. To one day wear my furry boots in public with Casi when she wears her furry boots
33. To own a bumpit and legitimately convince people Casi and I are related to Snooki from the Jersey Shore and we have been cast in season 2
34. To own a bumpit and just look at it’s amazingness (with Casi of course)
35. To have Katester be one of those words on Casi’s website that grows when you say it a lot – like beer (but I’m clearly superior)
36. For the world to one day revolve around me and Casi (well, more so than it does now)
37. To not get pregnant by November so I don’t have to name my child Casi – mostly cause I don’t like losing bets
38. – Too inappropriate for SanFranciscoNoobs.com – Casi
39. To apologize to Casi for the obscenesss of #38
40. Casi

There is more, but I have to pee, then I have to try and stay awake during a fascinating lecture on commercial transaction law…but mostly I’ll be thinking about Casi. <3

♥ Casi
p.s. Beer